Keeping Our Kids Safe - Harassment, Intimidation & Bullying (HIB)
Dear Parent(s) and Guardian(s):
Please see the attached Resource and District Policy on HARASSMENT, INTIMIDATION, AND BULLYING. If you have any questions regarding a matter in need of attention, contact me at 201-664-1475 ext. 2102, or Lauriello@nvnet.org.
Thank you,
Sabatino Lauriello
CDW Student Manager
Old Tappan Anti-Bullying Coordinator
Summer Enrichment Coordinator
201-664-1475 ext. 2102
Lauriello@nvnet.org
Guidance for Parents on the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act (P.L.2010, c.122)
New Jersey Department of Education
Take Action to Help Stop Bullying
Before children begin to attend school, they learn to interact from behaviors they observe in their
homes and communities. Research reports indicate that the success of any bullying prevention
program is 60% based on whether the same types of approaches are used in the home.
Some
ideas for parents to use to help to stop the cycle of bullying include:
• Build empathy – Encourage empathy by teaching your children about the struggles all
human’s face, including pain, rejection and misunderstanding. Help your children to
understand the common human experience and to understand and accept all people,
especially those who may look, speak, act or seem different from them.
• Teach respect – Teach respect for differences among people. Discuss the subjects of hate,
prejudice and intolerance, and help your children learn about others who are different from
them.
• Be a role model – Behave the way you want your children to behave. Being patient and
respectful is one of the most effective ways to show your children how to be patient,
understanding and respectful of the rights of other individuals or groups. Children who hear
adults using hurtful or “put down” words to describe people, groups or things that they do not
like, will use the same language.
• Show interest in your children’s life and be an empathetic listener – Show your children that
you are interested in learning about their hobbies and ordinary activities. Ask about their
days at school and their school work, not just grades. Make it clear to your children that you
want them to be happy, and that you accept and love them as they are. Encourage open
communication.
• Actively supervise your children – Active supervision helps to set clear, reasonable,
consistent and age-appropriate rules and guidelines for your children. Clearly explain how
you expect your children to behave, and be consistent in how you handle bullying that takes
place inside and outside of the home.
• Know your children’s friends – Meet your children’s friends; get to know them and their
activities. Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. Your children’s friends and
activities can have a major effect on their behavior and how they relate to others.
• Become involved in your community – Learn what is happening in your community. The
behavior of people in the community may effect how your children behave. You can help
stop the cycle of bullying by becoming involved in community activities and taking steps to
ensure it is a safe and supportive environment. These steps can include communicating
regularly with public safety officials in your area, and asking your neighbors to keep an eye
on your children and to report any incidents of harmful or unlawful behavior.
• Encourage positive problem solving – Discourage verbal and physical revenge by telling
your children that this type of behavior is unacceptable. Encourage your children to solve
conflict with words and not with physical or verbal abuse. Suggest they walk away from
difficult incidents and talk to an adult for guidance.
• Ask questions – Ask your children questions about the way they handle social situations to
determine whether they are being bullied or are bullies. Ask school staff about things they
see in your children’s social relations to help confirm whether there is need for concern.
• Disapprove of bullying – Send a clear message that bullying behavior is unacceptable and
will not be tolerated. Teach your children not to laugh when other children are being bullied,
not to take part in bullying and not to support bullies.
• Teach your children to be “upstanders,” rather than bystanders – Stopping the cycle of
bullying involves teaching your children to be “upstanders,” instead of being bystanders.
Bystanders are people who watch bullying, including cyberbullying, and who do or say
nothing to stop it or help. When bystanders do nothing, they are sending a message to the
bully that they accept bullying. Upstanders are people who take some action when they see
bullying.
Below are some actions you can suggest to your children that will prevent them
from acting as bystanders and help them be bystanders.
Do not laugh or encourage the bully in any way;
Stay at a safe distance and help the target of the bullying get away;
Do not give the bully attention and support by watching;
Reach out to the victim in friendship;
Support the victim in private;
Include the victim in some of your children’s activities;
Tell an adult;
Take actions that are safe.
If your children take these actions, they can take an active role in stopping the bullying of
others. Practicing these situations with your children can increase the chances they will act
as “upstanders.”
Prevention Activities Parents and Children Can Do Together
There are many specific activities parents can use to help their children develop empathy, respect
for others and positive problem-solving skills, including the following:
• Perform community service – Participating in community service with your children can help
them to better understand people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities, ages,
educations and income levels. For example, research reports show that students who
participated in service activities were more likely to treat each other kindly, help each other
and care about doing their bestv
. Consider having your children volunteer with an
organization that focuses on servicing certain groups that are commonly misunderstood or
harassed by others.
• Watch films that discourage prejudice – Watching films with your children on the harmful
effects of racism, homophobia, sexism and other forms of prejudice throughout history can
help your children develop empathy and discourage them from bullying others. Watching
these films may help children who have been bullied to identify with other groups that have
been mistreated. Films on the civil rights movement may be useful. Many films that address
these issues can be found at the public library.
• Read books or other literature that discourage prejudice – Similar to watching films that
address the prejudice many groups have faced, reading books on this topic can help your
children develop empathy and discourage them from bullying others. Books that deal with
prejudice should be available at the school library and in the public library.
• Visit museums and attend educational events on social issues – Taking your children to
museums or educational events with exhibits that focus on social issues, such as poverty,
civil rights and prejudice, can help your children to better understand the lives and struggles
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of others. Conducting an online search of museums and exhibits in your city or town may
help to find some of these activities in your area. Many local community organizations,
governments and public universities also regularly hold panels, workshops and other events
on past and current social issues that are open to the public.
• Keep your family up-to-date on current events – Watching the news, reading the newspaper
and engaging in other activities that help your children stay up-to-date on current events can
have many benefits. Talking about the events and discussing the behavior seen can help to
teach the behavior you want to see from your children. These activities can help them to
better understand the effects their decisions have on themselves and others and can help your
children become more empathetic and open to developing relationships with children that are
different from them.
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OLD TAPPAN BOARD OF EDUCATION
FILE CODE: 5131.2
Old Tappan, NJ 07675
Policy
HARASSMENT, INTIMIDATION, AND BULLYING
https://www.oldtappanschools.org/UserFiles/Servers/Server_350072/File/Administration/Board%20of%20Education/BOE%20Policies/Series%205000/5131.2.pdf