Student Manager and Old Tappan Anti-Bullying Coordinator

Sabatino Lauriello2021-2022

Dear Parent(s) and Guardian(s):

As most of you are aware, middle school presents a wonderful learning environment encouraging personal growth through character development, guidance, and social/emotional support. We, here at Charles DeWolf Middle School, help cultivate student-growth by teaching practical methods of resiliency, reflective analysis, interpersonal skills, and conflict resolution. These developmental tasks are vital for all young adults, and by enabling them to have a voice, we help foster a more productive - and kinder - generation. 

"Once students see the value of who they are, they will start to see the value they can offer others - a vital life-skill." - Mr. L

Sabatino Lauriello

CDW Student Manager
Old Tappan Anti-Bullying Coordinator
Summer Enrichment Coordinator
201-664-1475 ext. 2102
[email protected]

Take Action to Help Stop Bullying Before children begin to attend school, they learn to interact from behaviors they observe in their homes and communities. Research reports indicate that the success of any bullying prevention program is 60% based on whether the same types of approaches are used in the home.

Some ideas for parents to use to help to stop the cycle of bullying include:

• Build empathy – Encourage empathy by teaching your children about the struggles all human’s face, including pain, rejection and misunderstanding. Help your children to understand the common human experience and to understand and accept all people, especially those who may look, speak, act or seem different from them. 

• Teach respect – Teach respect for differences among people. Discuss the subjects of hate, prejudice and intolerance, and help your children learn about others who are different from them.

• Be a role model – Behave the way you want your children to behave. Being patient and respectful is one of the most effective ways to show your children how to be patient, understanding and respectful of the rights of other individuals or groups. Children who hear adults using hurtful or “put down” words to describe people, groups or things that they do not like, will use the same language.

• Show interest in your children’s life and be an empathetic listener – Show your children that you are interested in learning about their hobbies and ordinary activities. Ask about their days at school and their school work, not just grades. Make it clear to your children that you want them to be happy, and that you accept and love them as they are. Encourage open communication.

• Actively supervise your children – Active supervision helps to set clear, reasonable, consistent and age-appropriate rules and guidelines for your children. Clearly explain how you expect your children to behave, and be consistent in how you handle bullying that takes place inside and outside of the home.

• Know your children’s friends – Meet your children’s friends; get to know them and their activities. Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. Your children’s friends and activities can have a major effect on their behavior and how they relate to others.

• Become involved in your community – Learn what is happening in your community. The behavior of people in the community may effect how your children behave. You can help stop the cycle of bullying by becoming involved in community activities and taking steps to ensure it is a safe and supportive environment. These steps can include communicating regularly with public safety officials in your area, and asking your neighbors to keep an eye on your children and to report any incidents of harmful or unlawful behavior.

• Encourage positive problem solving – Discourage verbal and physical revenge by telling your children that this type of behavior is unacceptable. Encourage your children to solve conflict with words and not with physical or verbal abuse. Suggest they walk away from difficult incidents and talk to an adult for guidance.

• Ask questions – Ask your children questions about the way they handle social situations to determine whether they are being bullied or are bullies. Ask school staff about things they see in your children’s social relations to help confirm whether there is need for concern.

• Disapprove of bullying – Send a clear message that bullying behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Teach your children not to laugh when other children are being bullied, not to take part in bullying and not to support bullies.

• Teach your children to be “upstanders,” rather than bystanders – Stopping the cycle of bullying involves teaching your children to be “upstanders,” instead of being bystanders. Bystanders are people who watch bullying, including cyberbullying, and who do or say nothing to stop it or help. When bystanders do nothing, they are sending a message to the bully that they accept bullying. Upstanders are people who take some action when they see bullying.

Below are some actions you can suggest to your children that will prevent them from acting as bystanders and help them be bystanders.

 Do not laugh or encourage the bully in any way;
 Stay at a safe distance and help the target of the bullying get away;
 Do not give the bully attention and support by watching;
 Reach out to the victim in friendship;
 Support the victim in private;
 Include the victim in some of your children’s activities;
 Tell an adult;

Take actions that are safe. If your children take these actions, they can take an active role in stopping the bullying of others. Practicing these situations with your children can increase the chances they will act as “upstanders.” 

Prevention Activities Parents and Children Can Do Together There are many specific activities parents can use to help their children develop empathy, respect for others and positive problem-solving skills, including the following:

• Perform community service – Participating in community service with your children can help them to better understand people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities, ages, educations and income levels. For example, research reports show that students who participated in service activities were more likely to treat each other kindly, help each other and care about doing their bestv . Consider having your children volunteer with an organization that focuses on servicing certain groups that are commonly misunderstood or harassed by others.

• Watch films that discourage prejudice – Watching films with your children on the harmful effects of racism, homophobia, sexism and other forms of prejudice throughout history can help your children develop empathy and discourage them from bullying others. Watching these films may help children who have been bullied to identify with other groups that have been mistreated. Films on the civil rights movement may be useful. Many films that address these issues can be found at the public library.

• Read books or other literature that discourage prejudice – Similar to watching films that address the prejudice many groups have faced, reading books on this topic can help your children develop empathy and discourage them from bullying others. Books that deal with prejudice should be available at the school library and in the public library.

• Visit museums and attend educational events on social issues – Taking your children to museums or educational events with exhibits that focus on social issues, such as poverty, civil rights and prejudice, can help your children to better understand the lives and struggles 26 of others. Conducting an online search of museums and exhibits in your city or town may help to find some of these activities in your area. Many local community organizations, governments and public universities also regularly hold panels, workshops and other events on past and current social issues that are open to the public.

• Keep your family up-to-date on current events – Watching the news, reading the newspaper and engaging in other activities that help your children stay up-to-date on current events can have many benefits. Talking about the events and discussing the behavior seen can help to teach the behavior you want to see from your children. These activities can help them to better understand the effects their decisions have on themselves and others and can help your children become more empathetic and open to developing relationships with children that are different from them.